The Road in Review

MONSTER POST!

Below is a brief recounting of the second leg of my thumbing adventures from Cleveland to Washington, DC (with a tiny detour to South Carolina). Partially for ya'll, partially for me, but mostly to tell the stories of every wonderful person I met while journeying. I hope you can envision a little bit of the adventure I had on the road!

The route

10/10 - Really I should have left yesterday. Ok, well Monday. But the weather on Monday sucked and Tuesday was the only warm/sunny break I had to get out. Come to think of it, most of the Cleveland weather sucked. Lots of rain, which was wonderfully conducive to childerens science museums, imax showings and adventures in learning to blow glass pumpkins (bucket list, check!) with Tom, but not much else. But I digress. Hitch hiking in metro/urban areas is not a thing. Not only are you almost guaranteed not to get a ride, you are more than likely to end up in a part of town you definitely do not want to be (see: Richmond). SO, after an hour bus-ride to the outskirts of Cleveland and a good 30 minutes creeping around behind some medical buildings for cardboard (top 5 dumpsters you do not want to be diving into? Medical might take the cake!) it was time to hit the road!

480/77 to Doylestown- Healthcare - Unfortunately, notes from this ride are a little sparse. He was large, worked in healthcare, and was moderately unhappy at his job. Oh, and drove a large truck.

Doylestown to Massillon- Bacon or Bust - Come the a-PORK-olypse, this man will be ready! Speaking maybe 20 words to me the entire 15 miles, this portly man spent the rest of the time on the phone with his best friend, planning the meaty details on how they were going to buy and store a maximum amount of pig in their deep freezers for the coming global pork shortage (announced in an official press release from Britain's National Pork Association, later downgraded to large price spikes in Europe and ~10% increase in the USA!). This spike is due to the drought/awful grain crop and subsequent skyrocketing prices of pig feed, and is apparently a VERY. BIG. DEAL. Come 2013, I guess we'll all see if it's a bunch of hogwash or there's really some truth to the rumors!

Massillon (ALMOST NAVVARE?!) to Dover - The Missionary -  Bacon man was wonderful in most regards, but unfortunately could only drop me on the near side of town (always be on the side of town people are leaving from!) Like many times before, I busted the 'ol walking persona religious lady, mission trips (urugay and germany, rich mom, left money specifically for mission trips. Stopped in place with curbs, was walking through all of Massillon and Navarree (suuuucked balls). Very nice. Took me a few extra miles, was only going to Strasburg. 3 kids, now are grown and she does mission trips!

McDonalds, get out of the woods, you are drunk!

Dover to Cambridge - Frickity Frack - Guy Delivering water to fracking fields. natural gas fields all around cambridge. Has exploded lately. Most people previously making 18-20k driving trucks, now paid 80k to work 6mo. Fracking gigs are moving cities. Water trucked in. Full time chef. Platform is half a football field ish. He worked for 'Neighbors' drilling company out of Bermuda. Supposed to last 10 years, enough for him to retire on early if he stretches it out! (should not have picked me up, could have gotten fired? Woah! Super nice/smart!)

The beautiful view from camp.

Cambridge - Oh Cambridge. How I almost miss thee. After a bit of wandering (I'd learned my lesson and was making camp before dark this time!) I noticed an old sign at the top of the hill. WHO EVEN DOES THAT? Naturally curious (who doesn't want to take a little adventure hike a little after having walked all day? I blame my father for this tendency.) I hiked up an unfortunately steep and briar-filled cliff to find a beautiful clearing (with a nice gentle path down to the road on the other side... but who likes to take the easy way?!) Being prudent/not wanting to have to sleep with one eye open for visitors up the path, I decided to make a stealth camp in the woods nearby. Having great foresight and intuition (also, cold ears) I had bought a fatty $2 hat at a thrift shop earlier that day and it definitely saved my poor cabeza from freezing off that night. Yes, freezing. As in, it hit 32 degrees and while I wasn't cold per say, warm would not be in the first 100 adjectives I would use to describe the night. Although safely off the beaten path of human visitors, the snuffling sounds of large animals as well as the unfortunate placement of a large root underneath my tent (pro-tip, put your groundcloth down and lay on it before you set up your tent, ouch.) were not conducive to a great nights sleep.

STEALTH CAMPING! (completely invisible!)

10/11 - Good morning Cambridge! After a late [9? Eff that, it was cold!]  start and an expensive meal, [$8 for a basic breakfast at a family restaurant? SHENANIGANS! Never trust a place with a shiny flashing billboard outside!] It was back to the road again, looking to be a promising day with a full belly and great ramp to start out. Sign up and thumb out, first goal was Marietta, OH, about 14 miles down the road. The sweet eau de sharpe was still lingering in the air as a man pulled up across the intersection with 77 and yelled something about packing quickly and south. I said, "Marietta?" He said, "Yep." and so I hopped into the Trailblazer and a beautiful friendship was born.  A titch nervous as he started driving north on the highway, but he explained his house was just 5 minutes away and the more we chatted, the better I felt about being in the car with him. Getting to his house and (keeping the pepper spray in my pocket the whole time) helping out, he managed to turn a 20 minute pack into 2 1/2 hours, involving:

- A tv, couch, chairs, dresser, recliner,and enough other furniture to entirely furnish a mobile home (see: Tina)
- Two mentally challenged Pekingese dogs (that would only sit in the front seat... on me)
- Changing several tires (me finding low air in four tires and one dry rotted through.... surprise!)
- Lug nut rusted shut TIME FOR THE CIRCULAR SAW! (...ohgod)
- Switched out license plates (!?! still not quite sure on that one)
- Multiple ham and cheese sandwiches
-And a Cockatiel named Chumley

Trusty Trailblazer, OH to SC!

Cambridge, OH to Conway, SC - Billy
The man. The myth. The legend.

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(publishing now to remind myself to finish tomorrow or look like a fool with my pants on the ground)

(notes to myself are below if you are reaaaaaaallly interested, elaborations coming)

Billy.

 10 hours. Started driving 6 hours in (he drank beers/slept! (I hid them with my hand during tolls, hah) ..hadn't the night before.) Beeeauuuuuutiful! River valleys, zomg!
New River Gorge, WV (Bridge Day) 80,000 people, Oct. 19th, 2013, 800 BASE jumps, ziplining, rappelling etc. He is machinist, mostly making money from leasing land to natural gas fracking. Makes $5k an acre + 20% royalties ( 8k + ). 2 Ex-wives. CHERRY CIGARILLOS. Lordy.

Billy and kind-of-not-really-girlfriend Tina

10/12 - Conway, SC to Four Oaks, NC
Ehrmegerd so much warmer(up at 9, stayed in tina's mobile home)
His mom's banana bread for brekkie. She had rhumetoid arthritis and fibermyalgia, we moved stuff. On disability? Kind of gf? Would be if in same place? Went to beach, played in waves! They sunned, he bought me 3 heinekens down way, met Kevin at bar. Crazy old man, Jamaica stories from 70s. Red buds weed on plane, smoked/took pics with bob marley

Conway to Myrtle Beach - Billy and Tina.

Myrtle Beach to Wilmington - Emotional Problems Singer - broke up with gf of 1 year, 10 years younger (he is 37), R Kelly flew him places to do shows (singer in back or something?), Stopped at seals first... weird. Sang with stevie wonder. Stick shift with left  hand, on phone. Asked my advice, hah. Kind of temper/crazy.
Wilmington to Four Oaks - Marine (now mechanic, has a kid, straight out of marines to job, floated around but reputation got him jobs everywhere, even working in bad places) Taught Barbecue in south w/vinegar, boiled peanuts w/cajun delicious. Cowtipping??

10/13 - Four Oaks, NC to Rocky Mount, NC
(kids play place, gotta get a move on, before the sun!)

Four Oaks to Selma  - ceramics mogul, early, McDs (decaf, jerks!) 2 guys my age. Ghetto honda civic, tinted windows, bumping bass, baby seat and golf club. Asked if I was packing. Talked about getting to US.

Selma to Wilson - Crazy 17 year old, zero directional sense. Been in jail. Spoiled.
Wilson to Rocky Mount (kind of) - Sir Oldy McQuiet (70 and mom age female 40ish?)
Walked to Rocky Mount. (Distillery/moonshine? Crazy spider. The gays.

10/14 - Rocky Mount, NC to Richmond, VA (Picked up chris somewhere

Rocky Mount - 
*CHRIS*
Petersberg? Electrician outside Richmond. GMaynne.

10/15 - Richomond, VA to Washington, DC

Richmond - Unk.
Richmond to Outer Richmond - Hippie Boss (to mall on 295/64) (rain all day after this) ATE CHICKEN. NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM.
Outer Richmond to further East Outer Richmond - Quiet Business Pro - Raining like a mofo. Dropped under underpass near main highway 95 north to DC. SHAZAM, Tudor within 5. Made walk on highway one. Gave warning. Got Chris his ID number. While walking (3 miles?) Utz guy, wawa,
*TUDOR!*
FEOR to DC - Tracy, Anne, Graham. 28 and 27s.

Gooood morning SC! 

The long road south!

HELLLLLLLO Myrtle Beach!

 

MOAR MYRTLE!

Mmmm Myrtle!

Signs and route scheming.

Boiled Peanuts!?

Drying the 'ol tent and bag out.

Crazy. Dead crazy.

Cotton fields. Not just in your history text books.

Chris. The man, the myth, the legend.

SUCCESS!

Raining and cold? WE DON'T EVEN CARE!

Until the next adventure,

Hitchhiker Matt

 


P.s. "Leg one of the Journey: A treatise on why Illinois sucks" and "Hitchhiking: a how-to" coming sometime, eventually, kinda soon!